Letters to Two Idiots
by PushRightThrough
Summary: Seaford is filled with shippers. Kick shippers. When they get tired of Jack and Kim's obvious feelings for each other, they decide to let two idiots know they should be together, all through letters. *ON HIATUS*
1. Rudy

**A/N: Hey people! This is a new fanfiction, and I'll be working on this for a while. Basically, a whole bunch of people in Seaford see the chemistry between Kick, and is trying to let them know that they should just go out already.**

**Disclaimer~ I don't own Kickin' It.**

* * *

Dear Jack and Kim,

Hey! It's Rudy! You're probably wondering why I'm sending a letter instead of telling you in person. Well, just to let you both know, it's a little project the guys and I were trying, along with a few other people you happen to know. This is just the first of many letters you'll be getting.

Wow, that sounded a little dark, didn't it? Well, all dark references aside, let's get started with this letter. My main topic in this letter is love. That's right, love. Not what you were expecting, right? Or maybe you were expecting it. Who knows? The point is, I'm in love. With who? Why, Ms. Applebaum, of course. I proposed to her last night, and she said yes.

Right about now, you're probably going to be all "Congratulations Rudy! That's amazing! Be sure to invite us to the wedding!" Well, guess what? There might not be any wedding! Why? BECAUSE OF YOU TWO IDIOTS!

Bethany specifically told me she wouldn't marry me until you two got together, because she's doesn't want to get married while she's under stress. And right now, she's under stress. Why? Well, she considers herself to be a great matchmaker, and she thinks that you two are cute together and just perfect for each other! However, you two won't admit your feelings for each other, and it's driving her crazy and putting her under a lot of stress. You know what, it's driving me crazy, too! I'm actually with her on this one!

The only way you can help is to express your undying love to one another! But nooooooooo. You're just going to sit there, obviously having feelings for one another, yet go out with other people and make each other jealous!

JUST KISS ALREADY OR SOMETHING! IT'S THAT EASY!

Now if you don't mind, I'm going to take a nice, warm bath so I can relax. The therapist said that having rants like this might not be so good for my health.

OH! ANOTHER THING THAT'S YOUR FAULT! I HAVE TO GO TO A THERAPIST BECAUSE OF YOU! JUST BECAUSE I HAVE RANTS RANDOMLY ABOUT HOW YOU TWO NEED TO GET TOGETHER ALREADY! WELL, LET ME TELL YOU, I AM NOT GOING CRAZY! IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF YOU!

Your "loving" sensei,  
Rudy

* * *

**A/N: I know it's short, so I'll try to post two chapters at once when I update. **

**Thanks for reading! Please review, favorite, and follow.**


	2. Milton

**A/N: Woohoo, next chapter people!**

**Disclaimer~ I (unfortunately) do not own Kickin' It.**

* * *

Dear Jack and Kim,

I'm pretty sure that Rudy told you in the last letter that you'll be getting more of these. Well, I have a small correction. More people joined in on our little project, so you'll be getting MUCH more of these letters. But that's besides the point.

Do you know what you did to Rudy? Well, yesterday, he told us about how Ms. Applebaum and him were going to get married, but YOU TWO got in the way. Not that I'm blaming you or anything. I'm just saying, if you had gotten together by now, then maybe, Rudy and Ms. Applebaum would be off on their honeymoon right now. Oh wait, now that I re-read that, I think that I am blaming you! Anyway, Rudy's been muttering profanities in your name all day, and it's getting on everyone's nerves so much, that their muttering profanities in HIS name. Including ME. And I never curse!

By the way, I found out what happened on top of the Hollywood sign by infiltrating the camera systems there. Despite all of that, you're still not together?! SERIOUSLY?! WHAT IN BLOODY HELL'S NAME IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO?! I'm thinking of a lot of words to describe you two right now, and not a single one of them is appropriate, let alone nice. Oh god, there I go again with the swear words! Even if I'm not writing or saying them, they're still in my thoughts! A lot more words to describe you two popped into my mind right now.

Anyway, back to the Hollywood sign thing. I suppose I really shouldn't go after you. It was that idiot of a director's fault. So, I should be going after him! I KNOW WHAT TO DO! And, um, if I go to jail, do you guys mind bailing me out? Wait a second, I can't go through with this! If I go to jail, it will be in my records, forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ev- well, you get the point. I won't be able to go to a good college, get a good job, and live a successful life! All my hard work over the last fourteen years of my life...all ruined...

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go curl up in a ball and cry. Not just because of the depressing thought of having my life ruined, but also because of the fact that you two aren't together yet.

Your ''friend'',  
Milton

* * *

**A/N: I think it was okay. What about you?**

**Please review, favorite, and follow!**


	3. Jerry

**A/N: Hey guys! Unfortunately, I have been very busy these last few weeks, leaving me unable to update. But now I'm here, starting off with Jerry! WHOOOOOOO!**

**I honestly think I captured his character well. But I guess you'll have to be the judge of that, huh?**

**Disclaimer~ I don't own Kickin' It.**

* * *

Yo, peeps!

Wassup? I honestly don't know what I'm supposed to be writing here. I think Milton might know. Oh, who am I kidding, of course Milton will know. So until he returns from his date with Julie, I'll just write on this napkin from the cafeteria about my date with Mika.

Mika is also part of this club thingy. I just don't know what this club thingy is about, considering I sleep at the meetings or write in my diary. Wait, not diary! My man journal! I write about manly stuff in it like...stuff. Anyway, Mika and I went to Phil's and we got free food! Man, having her as my girlfriend makes me take out my wallet less and less. I'm able to save up for that plush Angry Bird pig! Not that it's for me or anything...it's for my cousin. Yeah, that works. I mean, what kind of guy plays with stuffed animals? Even if they are real dope?

Great, Milton just got back and told me I'm supposed to be writing about you two. Not me. You. I just wrote a whole paraphrase or whatever it's called for no goddamn reason just so I could write a letter to you! JESUS CHRIST, YOU TWO ARE INFURIATING! NEXT THING YOU KNOW I'LL BE APPLYING TO COLLEGE! I MEAN, HONESTLY! I JUST USED THE WORD 'INFURIATING'!

THAT'S NOT EVEN THE WORST PART. WHY WON'T YOU JUST ADMIT YOU'RE IN LOVE?! I MEAN SERIOUSLY, HOW CAN YOU TWO JUST GO ON EVERYDAY, WITHOUT SAYING A WORD ABOUT YOUR CRUSHES ON EACH OTHER.

And, yes, we know you two like each other. It's not that big of a secret. Just saying. I'm pretty sure you two even know that the other likes you. SO MAN UP AND ASK HER OUT, JACK! Are you afraid she's gonna say no? 'Cause she won't, you idiot.

Oh, and one last thing before I conclude the single most longest thing I've ever written, all for YOU TWO (I swear, Eddie will never let me forget this). I am so sorry for hooking Jack up with Lindsay. But I was desperate! Anyway, my date with Katie didn't end well. And I decided that Mika was better for me. But I felt bad that I broke up your date, and this mostly goes out to you Kim. For once, I, Jerry Cesar Martinez, am accepting full responsibility for my actions. Which is a once in a lifetime event, so treasure the moment, mamacita.

Yeah, that's enough writing to last me for the rest of eternity. I'm never writing again.

Sincerely,  
Jerry

* * *

**A/N: So, what did you think? Favorite, follow, and of course, REVIEW!**


	4. Eddie

**A/N: I honestly feel like I blotched up this chapter. Not only is it short, but I felt like I couldn't capture Eddie's character as well as I would have liked to. Tell me what you think?**

**Disclaimer~ No, I don't own Kickin' It.**

* * *

Hey guys!

This is Eddie. Now, I'm not going to beat around the bush or anything, so here goes.

GET. TOGETHER. NOW.

You two are OBVIOUSLY madly in love, so just get married and go to a pumpkin patch to pick up a baby already!

I mean, it's not just affecting the two of you anymore. Rudy's blood pressure has been skyrocketing! Milton is convinced he will go to jail! Jerry's...writing! WRITING, for god's sake!

And just look at me! I'm shipping! AND YOU GUYS ARE LIKE MY OTP! Isn't this all girly stuff? Jesus Christ, I will never get a girlfriend if I keep it up. Girls already don't talk to me (besides, you Kim, but you're kind of Jack's girl). Imagine what a laughingstock I'll be if word gets around that Eddie Jones is...oh god, I don't even want to think about it.

I can finally see why everyone's been sooooooooooooooo annoyed with you guys recently. You're...what's the word? Oh, right, you're ANNOYING! The most annoying idiots on the face of this planet, in fact.

I must now get myself some falafels to help me calm down. And I'll need A LOT of falafels (MAINLY to help me calm down, but I'm kind of hungry, too).

Not so much love,  
Eddie

* * *

**A/N: Like I said, not my best. Just tell me how terrible it is, and we can get it over with...**


End file.
